NaBloPoMo - Bad Habit

Hey guys. Well I know I said I was gonna blog about Marian Call and Scott Barkan today but I'm not. That one is going to wait til Monday when they have finished all their dates in the UK as there are some pictures I want to use but I don't want to spoil anything for anyone else. This leaves me at quite a loss as to what to write about so I'm going to use today's prompt.

If you could quit one bad habit instantly without difficulty, which would it be?

I'd stop apologising. I don't mean all together. Sometimes and apology is needed. But I would stop doing it needlessly at everything. Black Pig tells me off for it all the time and people in my past have too. It's a terrible habit. I apologise for things that aren't my fault and things that do not really need an apology. Why do I do it? That's a hard question to answer. I don't like people being angry with me. I don't like upsetting people. I am more likely to back down and apologise on something than not just to keep the peace and keep that person happy with me. I've done it as long as I can remember. I guess I have always not wanted to run the risk that people will leave.

I'm sure there is some deep Freudian reason behind this but honestly I'd rather not think about it. I'd rather work on stopping the habit. But it's difficult. Any habit is and speech patterns I think are very hard to break. Do you every find yourself over using a word and then you find a new word and the whole thing starts over? This is kind of like that. It's an automatic response. Occasionally I catch myself before it happens but not very often.

Thinking about all the habits that people want to be clear of mine is so no rock and roll hehehe. Ah well, I can live with that.