Sunday, 8 June 2014

Drifting apart

Today I saw something that made me sad. I'm feeling a little silly that it made me sad because it's not rational. But hey, we feel what we feel. I'm blogging about it because I need to run it through my head I guess.

Growing up my best friend was a girl called Leanne. We joked that we were fetus friends as our parents had known each other when they were pregnant. We had literally known each other our whole lives. When I was 10 ish I moved away from my home town when my mother and I moved in with the man she would later marry. But, since my dad still lived in my home town, I was back there on a regular basis and things didn't change too much between us. Sure we had different groups of friends but we still worked.

When I went away to uni we started to drift properly. I was 300 miles away and didn't come home often. I had pretty much run away from my life. I changed a lot during those 3 years but we would still speak on the phone and see each other when I did come home.

For our 21st birthdays we bought each other the same tattoo. It's this one.
I remember her saying she would never get another because it hurt so much. She has plenty now hehehe

Over the next 3 years we drifted more and more. I know on my part I was essentially having a breakdown and was neither use nor ornament to anyone. She had moved away from our home town and we didn't see each other as much.

We met up one Christmas just before I moved again as things were strained. I felt it at the time and had no idea what to do about it. I'd changed. She'd changed. We were no longer the people we had been. The little girls who had known each other our whole lives and known each other well. We had been through experiences the other hadn't shared. We had other people that we would call our best friends.

We've not really spoken since then. We bump into each other on Facebook occasionally but that's about it. I miss her but at the same time I'm not sure that we could ever go back tot hat easy friendship we had even if we wanted to.

So what has this got to do with me being upset? Well today I saw the lovely coverup she has had done on that tattoo. I think about how to incorporate mine into the back piece I have planned. I wouldn't even consider covering it up. The fact that she had shook me somewhat. Silly right? So it got me thinking about how people drift apart. it happens often and it's sad but it also makes space for new people and experiences. So I guess it's not all bad.

And now, I feel better. I love how writing helps to sort out all the silly thoughts I have.

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