Monday, 18 January 2016

The Oddness of Grief - Part 2

This week I feel sad.

On Saturday it was my birthday. A local cinema was showing Labyrinth in honour of it's 30th year. This was planned before Bowie's death. It was sold out before Bowie's death. Labyrinth fans, we are legion. Before the film they showed some old gig footage and some of the newer music videos. David and Tilda Swinton? Yes please. That was a delight. Lazarus? Less so. I'd seen that video earlier in the week and been fine but it really hit me on Saturday.

The film was wonderful as always. I sang along. I felt sad at all the parts I usually felt sad as. I admired the fans that had come to the showing in costume. There was a raucous round of applause at the end. It was a lovely experience. I left the cinema not exactly happy but feeling that I had enjoyed myself.

Then I went to work on Sunday and I felt sad. I felt sad all day. Close to tears on many occasions. I feel that way today too. The bittersweet realisation that whilst we still have his work he is gone.

I know Jareth isn't real (Shhh, I'm just saying that for any psychologists reading) so he will always be there for me. But now there is no way at all the sequel that get's talked about will involve Bowie. And somehow the idea that some part of the Goblin King is gone leaves me feeling hollow. As a young teen all I wanted was someone to look at me like Jareth looks at Sarah and that has stayed with me always. I think I will be re-watching it more this year than I normally do.

I don't know. I knew all this last week but now it feels really real.

I finally solidified my ideas for my Labyrinth tattoo that I've wanted for what feels like forever. I want a Victorian style oval frame but the top instead of being all curly Gilt style I want it to be Jareth's pendant. Inside it I want a stylized barn owl. I just need to find someone to draw it for me now. I've been collecting reference pictures ^_^

Last week I think I was in shock. This week I feel sad.

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